By Nishi Agrawal
It all started when a colourful gift voucher of a reputed beauty clinic fatefully fell into my hands.
‘Flash this and avail of services worth Rs. 1000 absolutely free’, it
beckoned enticingly to me in lurid multi-color. The moment the word
‘free’ impacted my vision, it had the instant effect of making me drop
everything and turn the focus of my attention full-beam on the alluring
promise of this message. I think most folks will agree that no human is
invulnerable to the effects of the magical word- free, for it possesses the
incredible power to transport us to a place where the laws of worldly
karma dissolve into an idyllic mist. Here, you may have done nothing to
deserve a good turn, yet someone is hell-bent to hand it to you. Can it get
better than this to assuage human greed?
And so, with due haste to follow the offer through, I made an urgent call to the clinic, to be told by the
sweet young voice at the other end that its validity was alive, by what I construed as a stroke of
serendipity, only up to that day. I blessed my good fortune, and agreed to the earliest appointment they
could arrange for me, before the 1000 bucks could disappear out of my
grasp and into the thin air. In short, I fell like a ton of bricks into their
well-laid out trap, exactly the way they had intended me to!
Came the appointed hour and I made it punctually to the portals of this
magnanimous establishment. But, one look at the swank interiors, one
whiff of the rarefied air of exclusivity, and a twirl of unease began to
assert itself within me. The first procedure I was led to did nothing to
allay that feeling. I was made to step onto a small, compact machine
which did not look either intelligent or knowledgeable, yet it immediately spat out a long list of my vital
parameters over which a bunch of assistants nodded wisely, appraising me with pity-tinged interest.
Slowly a premonition that I would be a terrible misfit in this
place was taking hold of me. This was further heightened
when I was guided to their next process- a scientific analysis
of my skin. Fearfully I seated myself on the solitary chair in
an isolated room, while a chit of a girl, claiming to be a skin
specialist, approached me with a contraption attached with
a black coil to a monitor. Very soon, it seemed to me that
this camera-fitted equipment took the form of a hooded
cobra, for it began to sway in a mesmerized fashion across
my face, as if to some inaudible snake-charmer’s tune. All
this while it kept transmitting to the screen the most
grotesque images of what looked like the surface of a barren planet, ravaged by horrendous space
storms!
Or maybe it was reminiscent of a Ladakh landscape: riven by deep ridges (my wrinkles), topped by a
porous pumice-stone layer(my enlarged pores), which in its turn was interspersed with black boulders
(presumably my freckles and warts). This, I was told solemnly, was the state of my facial skin. I was
dumbfounded and ashamed. The verdict was – criminal neglect of my skin. All was not lost though, for
they did have a remedy: a face-firming process that could smooth away all those upheavals that made
me look more monster than homo-sapiens.The price tag was a stupendous amount, enough for me to
call for my smelling salts. But not to worry, they placated me. There was a heavy discount on offer which
reduced the amount to a slightly less stupendous figure.
By yet another stroke of uncanny coincidence, the discount offer was also valid only up to that day. So
there I was, cornered into making a quick decision immediately, with an array of the staff ranged around
me, nudging me through word and expression to make THE FINAL commitment! Yes, they did assure me
that in case I did not possess a cavernous purse bulging with stashes of cash, they were prepared to
accept, in total understanding and consideration, a small token amount to clinch the deal.
It was at this point that the dim bulbs of my brain suddenly flickered
alight! The entire picture was now illumined before my eyes. I
realized that laying out the bait at strategic points does not complete
the hunt. It is also imperative to design a situation that leaves no
scope for the prey to escape. So here I was, almost swallowed and
digested by this business prototype of that ultimate trap devised by
Nature, the Venus fly-trap!
Once this realization hit me, my survival instinct s prompted me to leap out of their tender, vice-like
clutch, and the only way left ,I felt, was an honest confession. I told them that I belonged to the kitchen-
remedy generation, that I was not planning on a GDP-like budget for beautifying myself, and that I was
there only because I had succumbed to curiosity and
temptation.To their credit, they did honour their written promise
and administered to me the initial step of their skin rejuvenation
therapy. This comprised of a ‘cellular’ massage by means of a
vibrating apparatus that was intended to bring to life my
somnolent skin cells. The result of this electrifying experience
over-exceeded all my expectations. What happened was that
every single cell located up to the last extremities of my body
jumped violently out of its slumber, screaming in protest!
Thoroughly shaken by now, my most urgent instinct was to flee the place, but a few formalities were still
incomplete. We still had to part, the highly professional and competent beauty clinic and the recalcitrant
customer, in a civilized and non-abrasive manner. We played our parts, verbally leaving the doors open
for further interaction, though both knew without a shade of doubt that none would happen.I made my
exit from that exalted place with as much grace as I could muster. The clinic must have surely written
me off as one of the rotten apples that are likely to turn up in the freshest looking of baskets, and are
best rid off at the earliest.
Wiser by the experience I have now decided that the next time around, whenever a free offer is
advertised, I am not going to let my greed get the better of my good sense. In the eventuality that it does
succeed, at the least, I am not going to dive recklessly into untested waters.
Unless, of course, it is one of those genuine, irresistible FREE offers!
(Nishi Agrawal is a housewife and a prolific writer, nature lover and social worker)
