“Who Gave Them the Right to Judge My Friends?”: Bareilly Birthday Attack Sparks Youth Backlash Against Vigilantism
After her birthday celebration turned into a nightmare, a 22-year-old nursing student in Bareilly says fear and humiliation now define her daily life.
What was meant to be a quiet afternoon with friends at a café has left her traumatised, confined indoors, and questioning the safety of personal freedom in today’s society.
“I feel deeply ashamed that my friends were harassed and assaulted,” she said, her voice heavy with distress. “Do I now need to choose my friends based on their religion?”
A Celebration Interrupted by Hate
On December 27, the young woman had invited around 40 classmates to celebrate her birthday. Only 12 could make it.
Among them were two Muslim friends, Waqib and Shaan—college peers she had known for years.
Around 12.30 pm, the group gathered at the café. An hour later, as she began cutting her birthday cake, nearly two dozen men allegedly stormed the venue, raising slogans and accusing the group of “love jihad”.
“They immediately targeted Waqib and Shaan,” she recalled. “They started beating them and misbehaving with the rest of us, including me, while questioning us about our religion.”
Despite repeated pleas to let the group leave peacefully, the violence continued. While others were pushed out, the attackers allegedly kept assaulting the two youths, leaving them seriously injured.
The woman also claimed attempts were made to snatch her mobile phone.
Videos of the incident later went viral, triggering outrage but also amplifying her trauma.
Fear, Isolation, and a Stolen Sense of Normalcy
Originally fromthe Badaun district, the woman has lived in her nursing institute’s hostel for four years.
The eldest of two siblings, and the daughter of a farmer, she now finds herself staying at her aunt’s house, too afraid to return to college or the hostel.
“I haven’t stepped out since the incident,” she said. “I am going through depression. This has ruined my image—not just locally, but across the country and even beyond.”
What troubles her most is the moral policing. “My parents know my friends. I took their permission before organising the party. If my family has no objection, who are these people to ‘guide’ me?”
She added firmly that neither her upbringing nor her profession as a future nurse teaches her to judge people by religion.
Questions Over Planning and Policing
Police have arrested five people so far, though the main accused named by witnesses is yet to be taken into custody.
The two Muslim youths and the café owner were initially detained under breach-of-peace provisions but later released on bail.
The woman believes the attack was not spontaneous. “They went straight for Waqib and Shaan the moment they entered,” she said.
“The police must investigate who tipped them off.”
Youth Speak Out: ‘This Is Not Our India’
The incident has sparked anger among young people in Bareilly and beyond, many of whom see it as a reflection of a rigid, regressive mindset.
Suresh Vats, an engineering student, criticised attempts to sensationalise personal choices. “In today’s world, nobody should hype such issues just for the sake of creating hype.
Friendships are personal. They are not a crime,” he said.
His friend Rajeev Raina was even more blunt. “With what authority can anyone tell me to choose friends only from one religion, culture, or language?
This is shameful and must be dealt with strictly by law.”
Many youths say such incidents leave invisible but lasting scars. “You may heal physically,” Rajeev added, “but mentally, the damage stays.”
A Birthday That Became a Warning
For the young woman, the celebration meant to mark another year of life has instead become a harsh lesson in fear and intolerance. Her question now echoes far beyond a café in Bareilly:
Who decides who we can be friends with?
As voices of young Indians grow louder against vigilantism and moral policing, the incident stands as a stark reminder that freedom of choice—especially for women—remains fragile when hate is allowed to masquerade as guardianship.
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